for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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