that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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