Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
