we made out on top of his cat.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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