Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
