My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
