How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
