Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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