I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
