yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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