Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
