Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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