Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The power of my boobs compel you
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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