you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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