Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
