where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
