Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
the day after is always just damage control
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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