I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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