It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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