Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
