my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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