Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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