I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
