hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
