Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
