He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
