Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize