just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think my vagina is haunted
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize