a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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