Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
