now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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