I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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