i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
