I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
