I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
