last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
