we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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