Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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