Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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