He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
