Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
