So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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