I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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