You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
