just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Randomize
