I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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