girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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