She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
