i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
