you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
