She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize