smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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