dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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