Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
