Swine flu. Run for my life!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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