She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
