It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
