did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
