It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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