As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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