Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize