Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
