also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
