epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
